People confuse me. I hate it when someone says something that they want or that they're going to do something, but then they do something different. I just don't know. If I could spend the next few months in the middle of nowhere with nothing but time on my hands and a lot of books to read, that would be so great. The last few months here in rapids have made me realize that I don't really need anyone else. I can do pretty good on my own if it weren't for not having any money. That's why the middle of nowhere is such a perfect place for me. Especially if it's free to live there. Live off the land if need be, and I would just do whatever I wanted to. If I felt like sleeping all day, I could sleep all day. If I felt like fishing, then I'd go to the lake nearby. Maybe it's the book that I just finished reading today. It's like a way better version of Old Man and the Sea. Well actually the only thing in common is that it takes place out at sea. Here's the description. So anyway, I don't know where I'm going with all this. I had thought that it was because I was lonely that I was bored, but now I realize that I don't really need other people anymore. I just want to get back to school so I can prove everyone wrong about everything, last semester still pisses me off, especially when people bring it up like they're better than me because of it, or when I have to explain what happened and people are like oh, well that happens, and I'm like no, it doesn't fucking happen, it was a fluke and won't ever happen again, and I'm gonna prove it to you all, you know who you are. Nobody has any fucking idea how angry it makes me and I've had 6 months to think about it. I'm sick of people bringing it up in conversations with other people when they have no reason to, just to point out what happened to me and make me feel like an ass. Jackasses. But enough ranting from me, it's getting to the point where I'm just gonna stop talking to people and be one of those people that are there but you don't notice them, just kind of in the background. I don't have to share a room with anyone this summer or next year so I won't have any reason to talk to anyone except customers at work and professors. And at this rate that's how it's gonna be. I'll continue the lifestyle that I've started as of late, and go to the park and go camping and read, by myself. Enough is enough... I'm out... have nice effin' summer

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